Travel Time

Today we travelled for over 24 hours from Salt Lake to LAX to Nadi, Fiji, until, finally, we arrived in Auckland, New Zealand a few hours ago. And by today, I mean we left the eighth, , apparently missed out on the ninth, and ended up in New Zealand the tenth. In case you were wondering, we are now 20 hours ahead of the mountain time we started in which really just means we are only four hours different... but its a Tuesday, not Monday. Who knows even what happened in between then besides one too many airline meals, some of the worst movies i have ever watched out of pure boredom, a nasty case of crying baby, scattered sleep, Fijians trying to take our whiskey, LAX being the absolute worst place ever, and befriending one really cool Australian. I think I was starting to go crazy from dehydration, travel, and lack of sleep for a short period this afternoon before I took a shower and snapped back into it.

The flight to Los Angeles consisted of Dan being stuck next a mother and her crying-tray-table-slamming son in the very back of the plane. We sat across the aisle from this debacle, where I discovered that seats in the very back of a plane are straight up and down and cannot recline, forcing one to lean forward in an uncomfortable slouch. The cute stewardess sitting in the back with us tried to get us free alcohol but apparently was unable due to the lack of a first class.

I think I would step in front of a bus and make a quick end of it, either purposefully or accidentally, if I ever have to live in the madhouse that is LA. Upon arrival, we quickly realized we were no longer in Utah or Montana where diversity is lacking. It was quite a cultural experience. Between the overpriced rats, cats, and bats buffet (Chinese food), finding out that there was no food on the other side of security – after we had gone through it, (before an 11 hour flight), and the crowds and lines, we were ready to get out of America. We also tried to jaywalk in front of an unhappy cop. In Missoula, cars slam on their brakes to let you cross the street, apparently its not quite the same here. There was the particularly amusing experience of an escalator pileup. An unfortunate young man got his luggage and himself tangled at the bottom of an escalator as people with nowhere to go began colliding at the bottom with more coming. Unfortunately, complete crisis was averted before too many victims came down the escalator, as my brother and I stood five feet away and yelled, “Dmac, Dmac! Come watch this!”
Hearing that alcohol is quite expensive in New Zealand, we used our college education to deduce that whiskey was quite cheap in the duty free shop and embarked to Fiji with some extra bottles of liquid courage.

In Fiji it was 5:30 in the morning, but after the redeye flight, time was relative. In the humid sweat house they called the terminal, snowy Utah was a faraway memory. As an international airport, the Fijians had one fan and unsafe drinking water, unless of course you wanted to buy bottled Fiji water. Ahhh irony. LAX gave us one more headache when Fijian security told us that the plastic bag containing our whiskey was not properly sealed. It was stapled whereas it was supposed to be heat sealed and therefore was not allowed through. With nothing but time on our hands, we were not going to let this happen. Dedication is a wonderful thing and after a solid 45 minutes of arguing, then standing around waiting for them to tell us a a straight yes or no, we figured out a loophole and checked another bag under my name. On to New Zealand with our precious liquid stowed beneath.

Our final flight was marked only by the showing of the worst movie of all time. And this was after watching a movie by the name of "LA Chihuahua" on the last flight. I should have been suspicious as soon as the name of the movie appeared on screen, “The Women.” There was not one male actor. Not one. Marriage, babies, fashion, husbands, and gossip. It was like Sex and the City except 30 times worse. And I am embarrassed to say that all three of us made it through 2/3 of the movie because there was nothing else to do. Truly embarrassing. Finally, after one particularly bad part, we all looked at each other without saying anything and simultaneously tore off our headphones. All of the women around us burst into laughter.

And finally, we landed in Aotearoa... The Land of the Long White Cloud. Let it begin.